Troilus & Cressida
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...or War boys behaving badly. Or, hate-reading The Iliad
Featuring:
Jason Hentrich,
Brendan Edward Kennedy,
Kelsey Meiklejohn,
Danny Rovin,
Erica Smith,
John Dickson Wakefield
Directed by:
Ajax is caught flatflooted by the old "a sphincter says what?" gambit (Kari Ginsburg)
Duel of the century. Ajax and Hector both go with old reliable Rock. (Danny Rovin, Jason Hentrich, Angela Pirko, Keegan Cassady, Kari Ginsburg, Erica Smith)
Cressida knows things now, including just where Ulysses can shove it (Kelsey Meiklejohn, Keegan Cassady)
Agamemnon is pretty sure they're not saying "Aeneas" right. (Keegan Cassady, Jason Hentrich, Amber Gibson)
Cressida eats from the other side of the mushroom. (Kelsey Meiklejohn)
Troilus has a lot of man-feelings and only two things he can do with them. Here's #1. (Brendan Edward Kennedy)
Achilles and his Myrmidons. This explains the Greek economy. (Adam R. Adkins, Danny Rovin, Keegan Cassady, Angela Pirko)
The exact moment Cressida realizes what Diomedes means by "Greek yogurt." (Kelsey Meiklejohn, Adam R. Adkins)
Nobody listens to Cassandra. Per frickin' usual. (Kari Ginsburg)
Pabroclus. (Angela Pirko)
Meanwhile, Pandarus has way better ideas about where people can shove it. (John Dickson Wakefield, Kelsey Meiklejohn)
Look, man, Helen knows Paris is kind of... on the spectrum... but he's hung like a horse. (Angela Pirko)
Hector and Troilus gave up on "say it, don't spray it" with Paris ages ago. (Brendan Edward Kennedy, Erica Smith)
Yes, they do even lift. (Danny Rovin, Angela Pirko)
Thersites woke up with one fuck left, and you can't have it. (Amber Gibson)
"Why do I have this sudden urge to compose poetry?" thought Troilus, who was man enough not to say anything out loud. (Brendan Edward Kennedy)
There's a Cassandra in every family. They're always right, but it's usually kind of annoying. (Kari Ginsburg, Brendan Edward Kennedy, Erica Smith)
The exact moment Ulysses realizes his horse thing might actually work. (Amber Gibson, Keegan Cassady)